Regular Golf Club

Golf with friends is fun, but solo golf has its benefits

by Ryan O. (“Hollywood” Ben Hogan)

I’m an only child, so while I am very much a social being, I learned long ago how to enjoy my own company, if perhaps only out of necessity.

My mother – the youngest of eight kids – used to be baffled at how I could go to movies, concerts, sporting events, etc., alone. A childhood spent finding my own fun in the winter months, when it was harder to play outside with the neighborhood kids, made me extremely comfortable killing time on my own.

It’s why I’m just fine golfing alone, too.

Let me put this out there: I promise I have actual friends and family I adore playing golf with. It’s a social sport, things of that nature. But my dad lives three hours away. My closest golfing buddy has a job in college athletics that eats up his weekends until basically June. The remainder of my regular golf pals all have families and kids, which can make scheduling difficult. And my wife only picked up sticks for the first time this year, so we’re taking it slowly.

What that means is if I want to get out on the course, the most efficient way is to go it alone. Which is how I’ve found myself booking several twilight rounds at the public tracks near my home, frequently at off-peak times that allow me the freedom to play by my lonesome.

Prior to this year, I’d rarely played alone. Golf was mostly something I did 3-5 times per year for fun and then got annoyed when I wasn’t any good at it. This year, I wanted to see if I could get better. What I found wasn’t just that these solo jaunts helped my game – if it’s slow, you can play a couple of balls, try a few different shots, focus more intently and so on – but also my mental health.

You have time to think, to figure things out about yourself that the hustle and bustle of daily life simply do not allow.

I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression and several other things that I’d rather keep behind the Great Wall of HIPAA, if it’s all the same to you. Sometimes, it can feel next to impossible to clear the intrusive thoughts in your head telling you you’re 100 pounds of shit in a 10-pound bag. But there’s just something about being alone in nature, with nothing but the rattling of clubs, birdsong and a little white ball for company. You have time to think, to figure things out about yourself that the hustle and bustle of daily life simply do not allow.

You have that in abundance when the course is your oyster. I’ve seen deer, rabbits and turtles. I’ve contemplated my existence and how to improve it. I’ve wondered why the Cubs can’t keep a pitcher’s arm from falling off. I’ve figured out swing thoughts that work. I’ve planned out apologies to my wife for life’s failings and foibles. I’ve had hard conversations with myself and figured out how to be my own cheerleader.

I wouldn’t trade my golf buddies for the world. I love nothing more than killing a sunny afternoon with friends and family over 18 holes and perhaps a beer or four. But when you just need some time with a bit of sun and a couple of snap hooks to clear your head, don’t be afraid to go it alone.

Just make sure you save the holes in one for days with witnesses, eh?

Photo by Andrew Rice/Unsplash